*Updated with a recommendation on the Attorney General election.

There are three points of reference I’ll give you when considering my advice on how to vote in the upcoming primary (although you already should have your ballot). The first is from an English historian of Polish descent, who wrote about English politics in the 18th century, Lewis Namier. He said of people who wanted to be in Parilament that,

Men went there ‘to make a figure,’ and no more dreamt of a seat in the House in order to benefit humanity than a child dreams of birthday cake that others may eat it.

From The Structure of Politics at the Accession of George III

How about something less obscure. There is a new entry that should be in the DSM VI (the next version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), something I call Sally Field Syndrome.

Sally Field Syndrome is commonly found among people who seek political office, fame, or other broad affirmation from crowds of strangers. The pathology is typified by needing approval and seeking applause from crowds of people in church basements or more commonly in recent years “likes” on social media.

Third, my name is Roger, and I am a recovering politician. Yes, it’s true, I once ran for office. I knocked on doors interrupting people’s dinners, and I called strangers asking for money. I sometimes sat in my Jeep in a cul de saq somewhere I was sent trying to find the next set of doors I was supposed to “doorbell.” I sought endorsements. And I even — and this is hard to say — supported an income tax.

So anyone whose name on the ballot is, by my definition, not qualified to hold office. There are no Solons among them. I hear you say, “But c’mon, Roger. We can’t not vote.”

Agreed. Exercising your right to vote is important even if you submit a blank ballot, which is what I usually do (with, perhaps, a couple of names selected of people I think are OK). The rule I follow is based on why I don’t vote for judges: I don’t want to be standing in front of someone who is sending me to jail or fining me knowing I voted for them. If you can’t accept giving your ascent to bad decisions, policy, and behavior it is better to vote, “present.” But here is what I think of the menu you’ll be choosing from.

Congress

No Recommendation — Congressional candidates range from outright hostile to housing providers and new housing development (Pramila Jaypal in the 7th District) to Republicans who are representing more animals than people (Dan Newhouse 4th District). Unfortunately, most of Washington’s more market friendly representatives are in rural areas. If you have to vote, pick a Republican, notwithstanding what you see on CNN or Fox News.

Governor

Phil Fortunato — Senator Fortunato has listened to what we have to say and proposed legislation to prevent the City of Seattle from banning winter eviction. The Republican primary is a clown car. Phil isn’t a guy that I agree with on everything, and we might end up hating each other if he was elected. But he understands business and is far smarter than how he might initially come across. Of all the candidates for Governor, Fortunato is the one who I know will not just open the door to his office but will welcome us in to sit down and talk.

Lieutenant Governor

No Recommendation — This is an important office, and one that is deeply under-appreciated. Back in the old days, guys like Joel Pritchard essentially chaired the Senate. They weren’t devoid of opinions or values, but the person in the chair took the notion of being objective extremely seriously. When matters of procedure in the Senate would come up, the Lieutenant Governor would stop, consult his attorneys, and then issue a decision. Back in those days, the 1990s, when that happened there would be a kind of hush.

I remember Joel Pritchard’s voice from those days, “Having received a constitutional majority, the legislation is passed, the title of the bill will be the title of the act.” Bang! The gavel would go down. People believed Joel Pritchard when he ruled against them, and they felt validated when he ruled for them. It meant something. Today, the office has become partisan. Nobody running has the ability to be a Joel Pritchard.

Attorney General

Don’t Vote For Bob Ferguson — Here’s another one that unfortunately I can’t suggest who I would vote for if I had to pick; but for God’s sake, don’t vote for Bob Ferguson. Ferguson has one of the most serious cases of Sally Field Syndrome I’ve ever seen, he seems almost desperate for higher office, suing Trump four or five times a week. And he’s sort of that eager to please white guy we have so many of around here who wants to be Robin Hood, probably another add to the DSM VI, Robin Hood Syndrome, the tendency of some white, male, and left leaning politicians to take from the rich and give to the poor. Former Seattle City Councilmember Mike O’Brien had a severe case of Robin Hood Syndrome.

In Ferguson’s case he likes to sue housing providers that may have made a mistake in communicating with their residents. I wish we had an Attorney General that would just help us navigate things like how we might be able to amend the Constitution to get tax increment financing or give an opinion that state dollars can be use to help people pay rent isn’t a gift of public funds prohibited by the Constitution. I think Ferguson is the driving force behind the eviction ban.

Secretary of State

No Recommendation — This used to be the domain of old Republicans. Nominally, the office is largely ministerial, processing LLC applications and managing elections. But in today’s world, it has, too, become a partisan battleground with Democrats attacking the incumbent because she’s a Republican. I guess I’ll vote for Kim Wyman the incumbent if I vote at all for the office.

State Treasurer

Duane Davidson — The State Treasurer sits on the Washington State Housing Finance Commission which doles out millions of dollars in Low Income Housing Tax Credits (LIHTC). Davidson is a rural guy, and he seems to understand the economic problems of out of control regulation in urban areas, high prices, and the black hole that keeps consuming cash for housing subsidies. We need Davidson for another four years. He actually gave us an opportunity to make our case about the inefficiency of the state’s housing subsidy system, something that internally he probably took a lot of grief for. Vote for him. This one does matter. We can keep working with him.

Superintendent of Public Instruction

Maia Espinoza — If Espinoza was a Democrat she’d be on a fast track in this state for high office. But she has principles that keep her skeptical of the dominant culture around here. Founder of the Center for Latino Leadership, Espinoza has taken the honest and more challenging route of trying to represent what Latinos in Washington actually think rather than what white liberals on Capitol Hill think they should think. I don’t think the position is the best use of Espinoza’s skills, but she needs our votes to get through the primary. Our education system doesn’t need to slant further toward people who want to abolish private property, and Espinoza is on our side in that debate.

Commissioner of Public Lands, Auditor, Commissioner of Insurance

No Recommendation — Each of these are powerful offices that are held by people that favor the one party state Washington has become. Who’s the best alternative? I just don’t know. If I had to choose, I’d vote for a Republican in this primary. The Auditor should be running a serious analysis of non-profit housing spending. Pat McCarthy, a Democrat, won’t do that.

Washington State Legislature

No Recommendations — I used to say that our state legislature should have the best and the brightest, the people that you’d count on to make a soufflé, solve the New York Times crossword puzzle, and change your oil, and all before noon on Sunday. You’d settle for someone average, like you. Unfortunately, our legislature is populated by people who got there because they baked cakes and recruited Precinct Committee Officers. They are what an old boss of mine called, “low potential high achievers.” Of course this isn’t true of all legislators, but in general our system of choosing people to hold these important seats favors whim and whimsy over rigor and rectitude. Unless you know someone you like, in this primary, I’d just write in “Alfred E. Neuman.”

So there you go, my deeply cynical endorsements. My views have been formed over almost three decades of decline. All I can say is that everyone is dumber now than when I started. May God have mercy on us. And God that felt good to write this.